PPD after loss

A great article on postpartum depression after a loss
Postpartum Progress

There are so many women who suffer depression after a loss, but not many will speak of postpartum depression after a loss.

People look at me funny when I tell them I am a 3 time survivor of postpartum depression...they only see our 2 boys, and not the daughter who passed too soon. It is hard to deal with PPD on its own, with taking care of a baby, but when you have PPD and no baby, it gets compounded with so much more.

Pile your PPD up with,
-debilitating grief,
-constantly reliving the delivery of your stillborn child (I like to think of it as PTSD sometimes for what I had to go through- all of the contractions, labor, delivery- and no live baby to hold in my arms),
-constant reminders of your grief (go to any supermarket on any given day and count how many pregnant ladies or babies you see and you will get my drift!)
-guilt beyond measure (thinking there must have been some thing you could have done differently to have saved your baby)
-sorrow beyond the depths of the ocean
-Anger at the world for taking what should have been yours to love and nurture.

It is a hell of a ride!

I have to say I am happy that I had PPD before our loss. If I had not learned how to ask for help, learned who to turn to, learned to trust myself and my instincts- I don't know where I would be today.