It is almost time to face my fears, almost time to walk back into the hospital and walk that same path we did 14months ago- and pray for a healthy baby to hold in our arms and bring home.
I have been avoiding my emotions like the plague- I know it isn't the best thing to do right now, but I just have to get thru, and if I add the emotions on top of it all, it may just send me over the edge.
I have been focusing my attention and my prayers outward-
-for a friend dealing with postpartum psychosis- trying to find her way, trying to help her and support her in what ever way I can from so far away. Wanting so badly to be there by her side and hold her hand.
-for another friend facing the 1yr angelversary of her sweet baby girl in a few short weeks, and dealing with preterm contrax at 21wks, being put on bed rest- I can only imagine how scared she must be.
-for a friend who lost her little boy (who was due at the same time as Cameron) months before we lost Cam, and is now facing infertility.
I really need to deal with these emotions, or it will be a hell fire of a storm to deal with after baby boy is born...for now I am just burying it with girl scout cookies- the ultimate comfort food right??
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3 comments:
The thought of "dealing with all those emotions" can be a bit overwhelming, a task no one wants to undertake. You can do it, though; just express your feelings as needed. When you feel the need to express yourself, do so in a healthy way. This is not a job you need to do but a process of healing, one day, one moment at a time. This will not be something you have completed by the time he is born but a journey you are on that will continue after the birth of your precious little boy. You know you have support for this journey. Always remember that you are loved and that you are not alone. Praying for you! - Diane
"Dealing with your emotions" sounds like a big job, something no one really wants to do. This is not a job for you to complete but a journey of healing that you will walk through one moment at a time. Express yourself as needed; allow the emotions to come out as needed. You know how to do this, and you certainly don't have to have this all figured out before he is born. This will not a job that you can look back on and check it off your list of to-do's; allow yourself the freedom to heal as the process goes without pressuring yourself to do anymore than you can handle. You will be ok. Know that you are loved and not alone. Praying for you!
(((HUGS)))
I left a little gift for you on my blog. www.missingjuanito.blogspot.com
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