Time to get back to it!

I have been spending much of my time connecting with other Baby Lost Mama's on facebook, and I have gotten away from blogging- I need to get back to it!. So many wonderful groups and individuals on facebook! My current favorite is Chicken Soup for the Angel Mommy and Daddy. They are putting a book together to help other parents going thru the loss of a baby. I will be submitting some of my posts from this blog and my other (private) blog. I realized how therapeutic blogging is for me. Why pay a therapist when I can blog right?

Facing some new challenges in the next few months. I just learned that I will have a niece in June. Her due date is the SAME as my angel's was 2 years ago. This little niece will be the first living granddaughter for my inlaws- it will be tough to hear "She's the first" when I know deep inside my angel was. It will be so bitter sweet to watch this little girl grow-and see what I might have had with my angel. Don't get me wrong, I feel so very blessed to have my 3 wonderful boys, and I am so grateful that they are healthy and growing, but I will never forget my little girl, there will always be a hole in my heart where she should have been.

My nephew just had his 2nd birthday- balloons, candles, family, gifts....we just had our little girl's 2nd angelversary less than a month ago- it was just us at her grave, the bitter cold blowing through us as we let 2 pink balloons float to heaven. I couldn't help but have a tear in my eye as my nephew blew out the candles on his cake. His birthday, seeing him grow will always remind me of the little girl we lost a month before he was born, and now he will have a sister born at nearly the same time of year our little girl should have been. Some days it feels like salt in the wound, other days I can smile and say to myself that I have a special angel watching over me.